


Loki and Sigyn's No Good, Very Bad Date

by hoc_et_quod



Category: Thor (Comics)
Genre: Community: norsekink, F/M, Humor, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-26
Updated: 2011-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-28 04:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoc_et_quod/pseuds/hoc_et_quod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: Loki's just trying to have a nice day out on Midgard with Sigyn, but those pesky Avengers keep appearing and ruining it (because, of course, the Avengers think Loki is Up To No Good).</p>
    </blockquote>





	Loki and Sigyn's No Good, Very Bad Date

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Loki's just trying to have a nice day out on Midgard with Sigyn, but those pesky Avengers keep appearing and ruining it (because, of course, the Avengers think Loki is Up To No Good).

“Sigyn, put on your Midgardian best. I'm taking you out for a date!”

“Not interested,” Sigyn replied, not bothering to look up from the book she was reading.

“What?” Loki said, his face falling. “Why?”

Sigyn sighed. “Loki, dear, the last time you took me out on a date, I ended up helping out with one of your schemes.”

“Yes, but...”

“And the time before that.”

“Well, I...”

“And the time before that,” Sigyn let out another long sigh. “Do you realize how long it's been since we had a real night out?”

“Quite a long time,” Loki admitted. “Which is why I wanted to take you out for a real date this time.”

Sigyn finally looked up. “You have my attention.”

Loki perked up. “Well, I made reservations at this restaurant in New York...”

“New York? Where The Avengers live?” Sigyn interrupted.

“This has nothing to do with The Avengers. It just happens to be where the restaurant is.”

Sigyn looked doubtful but she motioned for Loki to continue.

“As I was saying, I made reservations at this restaurant and I even got tickets for that show you like with the giant, mutant, singing felines.”

“So,” Sigyn said rising from her chair and sauntering over to him. “This night will consist of dinner, a show and perhaps a romantic hotel if you behave yourself?”

“Well, I hadn't planned that last part,” Loki replied, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her tightly against him. “But if that's what my lady desires...”

“Sounds delightful,” Sigyn purred into his ear. “But, if I see any sign of any scheme, you, my dear husband, will be relegated to the couch for the next decade.”

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Loki and Sigyn strolled arm in arm down the busy streets of New York City, New York, U.S.A, Midgard.

“How do you know about this restaurant, anyway?” Sigyn asked.

“My accountant recommended it,” Loki replied.

“You have an accountant?”

“Yes, to handle my Midgardian business.” Loki had found that sometimes the best ways to avoid detection is to be legitimate about his transaction. Well, mostly legitimate. He even paid taxes. Well, when he couldn't find a loophole.

“Hm, perhaps I should have added Midgardian business to the off-limit list for tonight,” Sigyn muttered.

“Don't worry, Sigyn. I would never drag you to one of those meetings. They're terribly boring. Here we are.”

“Good evening, Sir, Ma'am,” the door man said as he held the door open for them. Sigyn smiled sweetly at him and Loki noticed that blush that appeared across the man's face.

“Reservations for Golmen,” Loki told the young woman who greeted them.

“Of course,” she replied. “Please wait as we make sure your table is waiting.”

As they waited, Loki scanned the room as he always did. Most of the people were unremarkable, but his eyes fell on a very familiar figure toward the back of the room.

The Iron Man, Tony Stark.

Immediately, Loki began calculating the distance from him, the possibility that he had one of suits with him and if he would be able to get a shot off before Stark could put it on. The mortal hadn't even noticed him. Loki could kill him before he knew what had hit him.

“Oh, this is a lovely place.”

Right, Sigyn. Loki could kill Stark easily but Sigyn would notice and she would not be happy. The man had lucked out tonight.

Thankfully, they were seated on the opposite side of the restaurant. Loki positioned himself with his back to Stark. It was never a good idea to turn ones back to an enemy but he couldn't risk the man recognizing him as it was an even worse idea to anger his wife. Besides, Sigyn would alert him to any attack.

The dinner was pleasant enough. The food was quite delicious, even by Asgardian standards and it was nice to be able to just sit and chat with Sigyn about random, unimportant things. But it was not to last.

When the dessert was served, Loki's phone rang. He almost answered it but then he noticed Sigyn's arched eyebrow. He hit 'Decline'.

“There, no interruptions,” he said.

The phone rang again.

“Oh, just take it or whoever it is will bother you all night,” Sigyn said.

“Sorry,” Loki said, rising from the table. “I won't be long.”

Loki walked off, glaring at the phone. What did Doom want?

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

“Please, pay attention, Tony.”

“I am paying attention, Pepper.”

“No, you're not. You're staring at that blonde across the room again.”

“Me and every other single man in the place. Most of the married ones, too. And more than a few women.”

“Too bad she's taken.”

“Oh, you don't know that. She could be here on a business dinner like the two of us.”

“Yes, a business dinner during which very little business has been accomplished.”

“Oh, he's leaving. I'll be right back.”

Pepper sighed.

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

“Doom, for the last time, I can't help you tonight. I'm on a date...With my wife...Yes, I'm married...Don't sound so surprised...No, tomorrow won't be good either. If everything goes well tonight I'll be too exhausted. Actually, block out the rest of the week, just in case. Is next week good for you?...Well, if you're going to be that way, you can just invade the country by yourself.”

Loki hung up on Doom, spun around to go back to Sigyn and froze. Tony Stark was sitting at their table and flirting with his wife.

The man was dead. Sigyn would understand, wouldn't she? He would just be defending her honor. No, that wouldn't work. Sigyn could defend her own honor if she chose. So why wasn't she defending?

Suddenly Sigyn motioned toward him and Stark spun around, staring him straight in the face.

“Oh, Hel.”

Stark didn't shout or leap to his feet or pull out any sort of weapon. Instead he just, almost casually, rose to his feet and walked away from the table. Loki figured he only had a few minutes before the Avengers converged on the restaurant. He had to get Sigyn out.

“Let's go,” he said when he approached the table.

“Business calls?” Sigyn asked.

“No, I told him I was busy.”

Sigyn smiled slyly. “Don't tell me you were jealous of that man. As if I'd leave you for a mortal. Besides, he left as soon as I told him I was married.””

“Look, it's later than I thought. The show will be starting soon.”

Sigyn looked at her watch. “Oh, you're right.”

She motioned for the ticket and soon they were heading to the theater. Loki discreetly cast an invisibility spell about them. He glanced over his shoulder and, sure enough, Stark was standing outside the restaurant, suitcase in hand, looking around and talking into his phone. Loki let out a sigh of relief. That was too close.

Hopefully the rest of the evening would go on without incident.

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

“Thor, this is Loki. I hope I'm not just wasting my time and you actually know how to use your phone. Look, I need you to call off your friends. I swear I'm not up to anything, I just want a nice, quiet evening with Sigyn. Call me back when you get this message.”

“Who were you talking to?” Sigyn asked as she walked up to him, two glasses of wine in her hands.

“My brother,” Loki replied. No use lying about something like that.

“Oh, how is he?” She handed him one of the glasses.

“I got his voice mail. Hopefully he'll get it. He's still not very tech savvy.” He tasted the wine. “Hm...this is pretty good for Midgardian wine.”

“I know, we should get some before we go home.”

“And maybe a bottle for later tonight?” Loki suggested.

Sigyn smiled. “Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea.”

Loki leaned in to give Sigyn a kiss and froze when he caught a flash of red.

 _You have got to be kidding me._

It was the Black Widow and to make matters worse, she was with that archer guy whose name he could never remember. From their clothing, it looked like they were just out rather than on a mission.

 _Don't they have some avenging to do somewhere?_

“Are you checking out that red-head?”

“I...of course not!”

Sigyn arched an eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip. “Perhaps we should forget about the wine tonight.”

Loki flashed her a smile. “As if I'd leave you from some mortal.”

Sigyn chuckled. “Oh, you.” She hooked her arm in his. “Come on. Let's go find our seats.”

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

The Universe was playing a joke on him, Loki decided. It was the only way he could explain how the Widow and her archer date ended up directly in front of them. They were already seated before he and Sigyn arrived and fortunately didn't turn around. But he was just waiting. He could see it playing out in his mind's eye. One or the other would turn around and notice that one of their archenemies was seated behind them. They would battle (he would win, of course) and then he would go home to sleep on the couch.

But, despite his worries, they didn't turn around, not once. As soon as the show was over and the lights rose, Loki grabbed Sigyn and began escorting her out of the theater. He glanced over his shoulder just as the Widow looked up. Her eyes widened in recognition and she turned to her partner.

“Loki, what are you doing?” Sigyn asked as he pushed her through the crowds.

“You know I don't like crowds,” he told her. “I need some fresh air.”

They managed to get away from the crowd but Loki didn't stop.

“Wait, Loki, slow down,” Sigyn protested.

“Ah, sorry,” Loki said stopping. He hoped that they had lost them. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Yes,” Sigyn said, smiling up at him. “Thank you for taking me.” She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a tight hug. “It's such a lovely night,” she said. “Let's go for a walk and then...”

“And then?”

She gave him a coy smile. “We'll see.”

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

They hadn't walked twenty feet into Central Park before Loki found himself face to face with Captain Steve Rogers.

It was official: this was the worst date ever.

“Loki?”

“Oh, I give up!” Loki declared. “You Avengers are just crawling all over this city.”

“Well, we are based here,” Rogers pointed out.

“Go ahead,” Loki continued. “Call your friends. I'll wait. Then we can fight right here in the park and then I'll go bunk out on the couch for the next decade.”

“Um...actually...” Rogers began.

“I got your message, Brother,” Thor said as he descended from the sky. “Yes, I do know how to use my phone, thank you. How are you, Lady Sigyn?”

Sigyn smiled and gave Thor a little wave. “I'm fine, thank you.”

“Thor asked us not to approach you unless you were actually doing something,” Rogers said. “I was just taking a walk. As you can see, I'm not exactly dressed for battle.”

This was true. He was dress casually and that annoying shield of his was nowhere in sight.

“Iron Man reported that you were at an upscale restaurant and Black Widow and Hawkeye said that they saw you at the theater. It is good that you are finally taking Sigyn out for a real date,” Thor said, beaming. “It's been a while.”

“It hasn't been that long,” Loki protested.

“It's been very long,” Sigyn countered. She turned to Rogers. “I'm Sigyn, Loki's wife, by the way,” she held out her hand.

“I'm Steve Rogers,” the captain said, taking her hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Sigyn said hooking her arm in Loki's. “Now if you gentlemen will excuse us.”

“Have a good evening, Brother, Lady Sigyn.”

“That was weird,” Loki heard Rogers say as they walked away.

Understatement of the year.

“That Steve Rogers seems like a very nice person,” Sigyn commented.

“Yes, he's the paragon of virtue,” Loki said flatly. “I'm not even being sarcastic about that.”

“So, all this evening we've been dodging Avengers?” Sigyn asked.

“Yes,” Loki replied. “I didn't want you to think I was plotting something.”

“Which one was the Iron Man?”

“The one who was flirting with you at the restaurant.”

Sigyn laughed. “Really? No wonder you had that face when you came back to the table. And the red-head at the theater?”

“Also an Avengers, as well as her date.”

Sigyn continued laughing and, as much as Loki was annoyed with the evening, it was good to see her so mirthful. She stopped and wrapped both arms around Loki.

“I think it's time we retire, Husband,” she said. “And I just happen to have reservations at the most romantic hotel in the city.”

Loki pulled her tightly against him and gave her a deep kiss.

Maybe it wasn't so bad a date after all.

 **o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Later in the hotel lobby...

“Dr. Banner, your room is ready.”

“Dr. Banner? Isn't that...?”

“Just keep walking, Sigyn.”


End file.
